Column zeros and ones: o thou happy electronics gift time

Relax while you still can. Because soon you’ll probably be given an electronic device as a gift – and then things will get stressful.

Don’t be fooled! Because it’s not that idyllic with the new tablet Photo: unsplash/Brooke Lark

Soon it’ll be Christmas, electronics gift-giving time. Think the run-up to Christmas at the mall is already stressful? Relax while you still can. Because some of you may also be getting a new smartphone, tablet or laptop this holiday season. Read what to do in this case:

1. unpack your device. Everything feels good. Especially tearing open the film weld. Sniff printer ink and plastic. Inhale the vaporizing bisphenol A and the escaping chinese smog.

2. The agonizing wait follows: The device has to be charged. Meanwhile, go through the "first steps" as described in the instructions and look forward to setting up the device. 3.

First, create a username and an Apple ID, Google Account, or Microsoft account and provide as much information about yourself as possible. Be sure to write down your new log-in combination.

4. Finally, you can see the home screen. Spend the first two hours choosing a screensaver, background and user photo.

5. After that, spend about an hour googling for suitable accessories: cell phone case, protective film, laptop bag. The new device wants to be adequately protected.

6. Phew, that was exhausting. Postpone setting up all other security measures such as an automatic data backup, hard disk and mail encryption for it indefinitely.

7. Try to log in to Facebook, Twitter, or __________ (insert any web service) and realize that you have forgotten the password stored on the old device.

8. notice that you have also forgotten the corresponding mail address.

9. search your old device for clues and realize that everything is too cluttered to find anything.

10.Take it upon yourself to sort your files more neatly on the new device. Don’t stick to it.

11. laptop only: try to install your programs and realize you no longer have a CD drive.

12. Macbook only: Learn that you also no longer have a USB port.

13. install what is possible and mourn all the programs and add-ons that no longer work on your new super device.

14. Switch to your old device and use it until you notice after the holiday season that your new device is now 10 percent cheaper at Mediamarkt.

15. Use your new device until everything has jerked up. Then notice a serious software/hardware error. Send the device in and start over after three to twelve weeks of waiting.

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